paradise on call.

literally. whether it be me doing the calling or me getting the call, i always end up somewhere perfect enough to be considered a paradise. and paradise to me is being surrounded by people that make me happy unconditionally. being so consumed in laughter that i forget to breathe and when i finally take a breath i feel the best i ever have. being immersed in a deep conversation about life and the world and finding that you can escape reality if only for a while. or just being at the park feeling the breeze brush past you next to someone that enjoys nothing more than holding your hand and sharing your company.

i have been exceptionally happy these past few days. the freedom of summer never fails to thrill me. but i am 120% excited for college. although, it make take a little while to find the number for paradise over there.

a wake up story.

i woke up this morning at 8:00. i looked out the window and the world didn't look very happy. the clouds were gray and the sun wasn't out. i didn't hear any birds either. this isn't very fun weather for a special day like this, i thought to myself.

i got out of bed and washed my face to wake myself up. then i crawled back into bed to lie down for a little bit longer until everybody else woke up. then i checked my phone to see what time it was. but instead of seeing the clock, the front of my phone said "46 new text messages." i stared at it a little longer... 46 text messages? what on earth...

"well, i hope you're asleep now. i'll tell you a story that you can read in the morning." that's how it started. and it ended with, "so she said yes. because they were meant to be. and they lived happily ever after. the enddd. i love you!"

the world no longer looked unhappy. :)

i am __________.

"i have reached an age where, if someone tells me to wear socks, i don't have to." - albert einsten
and if someone tells me not to read a book, i can read it anyway. because i am athena anduiza and i am my own person.

innocence.

jackie: what's your name?
me: athena
jackie: what's your favorite ice cream?
me: haha, cookies and cream.
jackie: me too!
she then proceeds to talk about how cookies and cream is the best ice cream in the world and no one can ever beat it, not even superman. oh, and she has a huge bucket of it at home. the ones you get from ralphs for real cheap.

this is why i like little kids. they ask you your name, but then the first logical question that comes into their mind after that is what your favorite ice cream is. not "what school are you going to next year?" or "what are you planning on majoring in?" or my all time favorite "so, what are you planning to do with your life?"

the kid just wants to know the ice cream that makes me the happiest. and i appreciate that.

details in the fabric.

calm down, deep breaths
and get yourself dressed
instead of runnin around
and pullin on your threads
and breaking yourself up

if it's a broken part, replace it
if it's a broken arm, then brace it
if it's a broken heart, then face it

and hold your own, know your name
go your own way...

happy birthday, dr. seuss!

"i like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells." - dr. seuss
from an early age, you have enhanced my eagerness to learn in more ways than one. the least i could have done was to write my multi-genre paper on you, which i did. and i couldn't have picked a better person. so now i am off to watch your book-turned-movie of "horton hears a who" as a little tribute to the happiness you have never failed to bring me. thedor geisel, you are a genius!

one sunday afternoon.

in brown shorts, an old tennis t-shirt, and $5 shoes from rite aid, i sat on the grass. the weather was beautiful -- the type of weather that made you finish your homework fast when you were little so you could go outside and play all day. my mother sat in front of me , my sister on the other side of the grave to my left, and my dad standing above us all, looking down. you'd think that going to the cemetery would be a solemn occasion, but it never is.

i look around at the beautiful people sitting on the grass with me: a mother so strong and loving, a sister so intelligent and admirable, and a father so hardworking and loyal. i listen as we all talk about the future ahead, of how i'm graduating high school soon, how my sister is looking for her first designing job, and how i'm finally looking for a job of my own. the future seems so bright knowing that the people that surround me will always be there.

then i look around at everyone else coming into the cemetery. the young and the old, the sad and the happy, the wife and the husband, the son, the daughter, the niece and nephew, the best friend and the fiance; all have loved and lost. but whether they come with family and friends, or come alone, i see that almost all of them have smiles on their faces. smiles because they get to visit their loved ones once again, knowing they have not really lost them at all.

as we drive away, i pass the sight of so many more people. so many more graves with beautiful flowers strewn upon them and balloons flying high with a "happy birthday" or an "i love you" written on them. but a certain person catches my eye: it is an old man sitting comfortably in a lawn chair with an umbrella over him, talking to the grave he was sitting at. i ventured a guess at what he was talking about and thought maybe he was talking to his wife about something as simple as the on-goings of his day. or his daughter, telling her he bought a new dog and named it after her favorite teddy bear. or maybe his son and explaining how he finally finished sanding the cabinet he had been working on for so long. whatever it was, it made me wish that one day someone will love me that much to come and visit me and tell me how their day went, as if i had never left at all.

the cemetery is a beautiful place.

steve's future.

"Long Nguyen" (11:51:07 PM): alright so

"Long Nguyen" (11:51:12 PM): since i can tell the future

"Long Nguyen" (11:51:15 PM): i'll tell steve's future!

"Long Nguyen" (11:51:16 PM): okay?

xUHTHEENUH (11:51:37 PM): oh

xUHTHEENUH (11:51:38 PM): okay!

xUHTHEENUH (11:51:40 PM): tell awayy

"Long Nguyen" (11:51:43 PM): alright so

"Long Nguyen" (11:51:43 PM): in year

xUHTHEENUH (11:51:44 PM): wait!

xUHTHEENUH (11:51:45 PM): no!

"Long Nguyen" (11:51:49 PM): hush

"Long Nguyen" (11:51:50 PM): this is long past

"Long Nguyen" (11:51:53 PM): our relationship

xUHTHEENUH (11:51:57 PM): i have to get steve!!

"Long Nguyen" (11:51:57 PM): in year 2182

"Long Nguyen" (11:52:00 PM): oh

xUHTHEENUH (11:52:40 PM): k all ready

xUHTHEENUH (11:52:41 PM): go!

"Long Nguyen" (11:52:45 PM): okay

"Long Nguyen" (11:52:46 PM): in year 2182

"Long Nguyen" (11:52:49 PM): when aliens invade the earth

"Long Nguyen" (11:52:55 PM): steve is one of the last

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:01 PM): stuffed animal soldiers

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:06 PM): we call him

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:08 PM): the SAS

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:18 PM): which is also the british special air services acronym, coincidentally

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:23 PM): and, by luck of fate

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:28 PM): steve is part british and part african

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:30 PM): anyway

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:34 PM): so one day

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:37 PM): while steve was busy fighting aliens

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:44 PM): he stumbled on a branch and fell

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:54 PM): and as you know

"Long Nguyen" (11:53:59 PM): elephants can't get up if they fall

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:04 PM): so he summoned timmy and jimmy

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:08 PM): his long lost friends

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:18 PM): and they somehow got him up on his feet again

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:20 PM): but then suddenly

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:24 PM): a super alien popped out

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:34 PM): and started smacking around timmy with its tentacles

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:38 PM): and steve was like

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:40 PM): oh hell no

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:45 PM): no one smacks my fish with tentacles

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:51 PM): and he body slammed the alien

"Long Nguyen" (11:54:54 PM): but then

"Long Nguyen" (11:55:04 PM): the super alien's backup arrived

"Long Nguyen" (11:55:08 PM): and tried to capture steve

"Long Nguyen" (11:55:17 PM): but then

"Long Nguyen" (11:55:28 PM): steve took out his pie

"Long Nguyen" (11:55:30 PM): it was no normal pie.

"Long Nguyen" (11:55:36 PM): it was really a nuclear bomb, in fact

"Long Nguyen" (11:55:43 PM): and he set it off and it killed all the aliens

"Long Nguyen" (11:55:47 PM): while he hid safely behind a tree

"Long Nguyen" (11:55:58 PM): and after that he continued on his mission

"Long Nguyen" (11:56:02 PM): to be continued!

hahah, he's such a good storyteller.

gwendolyn.

i just realized my last two posts were about the ontiveros family and for both posts, i used a picture of gwen. not because she is a ridiculously adorable child (but really she is), but because over half of the pictures i have the days i spend with them are of her. just thought i should mention that....cause i noticed...yeah.

k bye.

an ontiveros-filled day.

from 11 o'clock in the morning to 10 o'clock at the night, my day consisted of nothing but spending time with one of the most amazing families i have ever met in my entire life.

i helped make tamales with the grown-ups, watched a charlie brown christmas with the girls, played "rock climbing" with gwen, got beat (twice!) by siena at chess, played tag with irene outside, fed popcorn to maligne, and just watched elia be the cutest little one-year-old cracker queen in the world.

i almost fell asleep near the end of indiana jones and the crystal skull because tara and irene were just so warm. but with siena narrating everything that happened or is about to happening, it was a little hard. there were a couple of instances where i was scared for the safety of my camera because gwen (a five year old girly-girl who loves taking pictures of herself) never stopped running around with it. but i do have to admit she actually took some really good pictures of things other than herself.

and i can't forget the caroling we did later that night with all the honored guests, the girls, and mr. o. i actually did think it was a lot of fun. i've never been caroling before and this was definitely a memorable first time.

all in all, i've gotta say this started off my winter break in the most perfect way. i can't wait for new year's eve to spend it with them all over again.

(oh, and i can't forget about masa man! props to tara and kimly for that amazing creation.)

tamales.

"but maybe it's not about flavors, maybe it's not about reason, or GPA, or College Board, or dress code, or college aps... maybe, instead, it's about hiking in the woods, about rock walls and movies under the stars, about waiting for friendships and flavors to mingle..."

Yours,
Mr. and Mrs. Ontiveros

upset.

that is what my stomach is. upset. very very upset. i don't like upset stomachs. especially when the stomach is mine. i'm trying to think of things that would make my stomach happier, but everything i'm thinking of would probably make it worse...pie, ice cream, pie, brownies, pie, cheesecake, pie, chocolate, pie... (i really want pie).

sigh. i think a warm bed and looking at the new clothes i bought today will do the trick. mmm, that sounds delightful.

tom's a biiiird.

everytime i think of thanksgiving, i think of this episode of the cosby show. so, naturally, today being thanksgiving and all, i had to watch it again to really get in the mood for thanksgiving. i can never get enough of olivia's thanksgiving song (starts at 6:00). it is the cutest, funniest, most adorable thing ever. so if you don't wanna watch the whole thing, fast forward to the 6 minute mark. it's turkey time!

giving thanks.

"Aw u personalized the txt."
"Thanks, love. You know you do the exact same for me. :)"
"You are so delightful. I hope you know that."
"Happy Thanksgiving my goddess!!"
"Hehe that was the best thing to wake up to(: We really are really good friends aren't we?"
"I love you too baby!"
this is what i am thankful for. the people who make life worth living. the little things that never deserve to go unnoticed. the love that i am constantly surrounded by. the sense of happiness that goes all the way down to the tips of my toes. the warm bed i sleep in every night. the clothes on my back. and the thought of someone being thankful for me simply because of, well, being me.

oh, and the pecan pie my grandma brought over today. this is love.

it's funny.

boawen: are you having a debut?
me: naww. why?
boawen: iono. brittany valdez is having one. i'm in her court.
it struck me right then and there how small of a world we really live in. i forgot boawen went to walker and became friends with my best friends from elementary school. kinda like how i went to lexington and became friends with rona's best friends from elementary school. but anyway, boawen also mentioned that he saw arielle delosreyes at starbucks the other day. another one of my best friends from the elementary days. i never realized how weird it was that i've never run into them anywhere. i don't think i've talked to any of them for 4 or 5 years. and to tell the truth, i don't remember the last time i thought about brittany valdez or arielle delos reyes or rj dizon or grace aquino until today.

and when he mentioned that he's been given the honor of being a part of her court, it kind of made me a little jealous. i know we haven't talked in ages, but it kinda gave me that feeling that little kids get when they think someone's taking their friends away from them. you know, the "she was my friend first" kinda thing. immature, i know. just goes to show that things change and you can't really do much about it.

it's funny though. as much as i want to catch up with them and find out what their lives have been like for the past few years, i wouldn't break necks trying to do it. but i think the people in my life right now, the ones that i've grown with working through the trials and tribulations of my teenage years, i'd move mountains to make sure i stay in touch with them.

things are just better with them here.

sincerely, athena.

p.s.
i may have signed the letter, but i am far from finished. people tend to underestimate the power of postscripts, don't they? they read the letter and are satisfied when they are finished with it and see the signature at the end. and then they see the little “p.s.” they assume it was hastily written and of less importance since it wasn’t significant enough to figure into the body of the letter. but maybe, just maybe, that postscript was the most important part of the letter. so important that it HAD to be by itself. somehow, give it a little emphasis. not something like, “p.s. can i borrow your sweater?” or “p.s. i’ll call you at 5.” i was thinking something more along the lines of, “p.s. i love you.” that deserves a second glance, don’t you think?

an apple a day.

so today, being more bored than usual because everyone seemed to be busy, i went through some of my old files on my laptop. found some funny quotes, surfaced some embarrassing pictures, and realized that i used to have way too much time on my hands. but the real point of this post is to share a story i found. i saved it on a word document a long, long time ago after i watched an episode of oprah. and after discovering it this afternoon and reading it as if for the first time, my belief in destiny has been overwhelmingly renewed...

before i begin this story, i apologize in not remembering the actual names of the people. don't know why i didn't write it down. but anyway, to make this story come alive, i will give the people my own names. they will from this point forward be known as robert and julia.

when robert was fourteen years old he, as well as his entire family, were placed in a concentration camp in germany during the time of the holocaust. one day, he was walking along the fence and spotted a girl on the other side. she comes up and introduces herself as julia. as starving as he was, robert asks her if she has any food and she gives him an apple. julia was hiding from the nazis as well and she had fled poland with her family and was now living in germany pretending to be christian. the two young teenagers instantly became friends and for the next 7 months, juila came every single day to give him an apple.

then one day, robert told her that she shouldn't come back the next day because he was being transfered to a different concentration camp. that was the last time they saw each other. then after the jews were liberated, robert was free and began a normal life. years later, when he was in his late 20s, his friend set him up on a blind date. so he went on the date and began making small talk with the woman. they continued talking and the girl asked him where he was during the war because she knew that he was jewish, etc, etc. so robert told her about the concentration camp and she says "oh! i used to go to that camp and give apples to a boy for about 7 months." and then it kinda hit him. he then asked her "did the boy tell you to stop coming the next day because he was leaving?" she said yes. then he realized it was his julia, told her he was that boy she befriended so many years ago, and proposed right then and there.

they've been married ever since.

bad blogger.

2 months and 15 days. that's how long it's been since i've last posted. people have been harping on me about posting, but i haven't had the will to do it lately. maybe it's just cause i feel like i always have something better to do. well, maybe not better. more important? *cough* college apps *cough* but important stuff has never stopped me from writing before. it was usually my inspiration for a new post. ah, well. remember the days where i would post, not just one blog a day, but up to three? good times...

anyway, i've said this before, but maybe it'll actually stick this time: i'm back.

unforgettable.

"check your pockets."

oh, elmo.

(his laugh makes me happy.)
(and you just have to love elmo with chris brown.)
(and this...this just made my day.)

this is why elmo is my favorite monster. well, not just monster. favorite character...ever. he's up there with my obsession with elephants and maroon 5. he's toooo cute.