"It's not simple to say that most days I don't recognize me. That these shoes and this apron, that place and it's patrons have taken more than I gave them. It's not easy to know I'm not anything like I used to be. Although it's true I was never attention's sweet center, I still remember that girl.

She's imperfect but she tries.
She is good but she lies.
She is hard on herself.
She is broken and won't ask for help.
She is messy but she's kind.
She is lonely most of the time.
She is all of this mixed up
and baked in a beautiful pie.
She is gone but she used to be mine."

It's one thing when he says, "I love you."
It's another thing when he says, "I love you very much."
I'm a lucky girl.

Days Gone By.

Saturday:

Spent the afternoon hanging out with Albert and his family; watching tv, flying a kite, going to the mall - it was one of those times where the accumulation of little every day activities turned into a fun and memorable few hours.

Later that night I made plans with Robin for dinner and drinks. We went to this place called The Iron Press in Costa Mesa and it was sooo good. Gourmet waffle sandwiches + delicious beer + good company = a successful night out.

Funny story: after dinner we planned to go out to Downtown Santa Ana, but instead we opted for a night in with lots of ice cream and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. We clearly made the right decision.

Sunday:

Another outing with Kat, Justin, and the little monster. We browsed through the Long Beach flea market for a few hours (they raised their admission price to $6!! Not okay...) and I didn't buy anything this time, but it was fun looking through all the stuff.

After working up an appetite, we tried to figure out what to eat and as being as indecisive as we all are, we let Chloe decide. Result: Red Robin! It's been a while since I've been to Red Robin, but the mushroom burger was just as good as ever. (Not pictured: bottomless freckled lemonade - didn't realize how much I missed it until that first sip. So. Good.)

Goodbye weekend, hello extremely long week ahead of me! Is it Friday yet?

I Do (Eventually).

Between watching a lot of Say Yes to the Dress lately (it's on Netflix!), watching Runaway Bride last night, pulling bridal samples for work, and hearing about recent engagements of friends and acquaintances alike, weddings have been on my mind a lot. My wedding to be exact.

It doesn't technically exist yet, seeing as I'm not engaged or getting married anytime soon, but it's existed in my head since practically forever. The idea of it and the planning of how it's going to look, where it's going to be, who's going to be there, what I'm going to wear... all of that has been secretly in the works in the back of my mind.

And I really hope one day I get to have the wedding of my dreams. It's not that I want to have a really big wedding or anything, I just like the idea of celebrating love and a new chapter of life.

Committing to someone for the rest of your life is a pretty big accomplishment and definitely worth celebrating, don't you think?

I do.

Things of the Week.

Thing #1: I have a weird obsession with mugs. Especially colorful ones.

Thing #2: I was walking around Whole Foods the other day and realized they have the cutest signs ever in every single aisle. I appreciate that.

Thing #3: A pizza box with my name on it. Can life really get any better?

Thing #4: I live for happy hour specials. Especially when it's at a fancy-shmancy place like Fleming's and everything is only $6.

Thing #5: Cherry blossoms.

It's the little things throughout the week that keep me going.

Pick Me Up.

Zara tank & Hazelnut Macchiato

The items pictured above are what happens when I have a bad day. Shopping and Starbucks is seriously the best pick-me-up combo (right after ice cream and chick flicks, of course).

Well, This Is Awkward.

There are a few things in life that I flat out judge other people for doing/liking/enjoying, but mostly in my head and sometimes out loud if I'm feeling very strongly on the subject. But after all my quiet judgement and stifled snickering, I have regrettably become aware of things that I have been doing that I never thought in a million years would happen to me.

1) I'm officially that person who carries around their iPad everywhere. I'm not even that important, you guys.
2) I have about 4% interest in house music. Pretty sure I though it would stay at -12% for just about forever. The positive number is astounding in itself.
3) Reality TV. Can't. Stop. Watching. My poor, poor brain...
4) "Once you go iPhone you never go back." Oops.
5) Cats are totally happening right now. I kinda of hate it and I kind of love it. WHO AM I?


Sigh. I'll go sit in the corner now and think about what I've done...

Monday Casualty.

Tangled Hair: 1, Comb: 0

The poor little guy never really stood a chance...

My Birthday Boy.

Can't wait to give him a big fat birthday hug.

Girl Crush.

This video is adorable, too. And so is this one. She's just adorable all around.

QOTD.

"Yay! Time for a quarter-life crisis!"

"Yeah, I had mine ten years ago."

"Um. I've had mine every single year since I was 12."

Restraint.

Thing I've learned about myself: I have very good restraint.

I hate unnecessary bickering over tiny, unimportant things and any form of confrontation usually makes me uncomfortable (especially when people take themselves WAY too seriously, which happens often in my current occupation...) so I avoid it all costs. Ergo, being the Queen of Non-confrontation, I usually let the other person say whatever it is that they need to say (I'm real good at listening) and then proceed to problem solve in a manner of my choosing.

There have been many, many, many, MANY times in the past few weeks where I have had to restrain myself from vocalizing my opinions. But looking back, I'm very thankful that I did because it would more than likely have been a waste of breath.

Sometimes I do wish I was a tad more upfront and assertive, but I'm pretty sure that's not going to change any time soon (or ever). And I'm okay with that.

I just wish some people would learn to put a sock in it every now and then.

"Not every day is good, but there is something good in every day."

Morning Fuel.

Today's breakfast: Honey Nut Cheerios and bananas!

I am not a morning person.

Every morning it's the same routine: my alarm goes off, I snooze it, lie there until it goes off again, snooze it, lie there until it goes off again, snooze it, then finally get out of bed the next time it goes off because by then I probably have like 5 minutes to get ready and go before I'm late to wherever I'm going. Mornings. are. not. fun.

And this great little morning routine I have for myself typically leaves little to no room for a healthy breakfast that is so highly recommended by, like, 10 out of 10 doctors. So, I've decided there's still time to make a New Year's Resolution: eat breakfast!

I know it's a little silly, but I'm always starving by late morning because there's no fuel in my belly, which in turn makes me exceedingly grumpy (and unproductive). So, this is pretty much doing a favor to anyone who has to interact with me during that period of time.

And it gives me something to look forward to when I wake up... hopefully it will make my mornings better.

(Actually, it'll probably just make me even more late to wherever I'm going. Oh well. I'm trying to be healthy!!)

Me, Myself, and I.

Some days I wish that the world wasn't so judgmental towards people who go places by themselves. I'll admit there are times that I've seen someone alone at a restaurant or movie theater and have wondered why they would come alone, but then I figure their spouse is out of town or their friend cancelled last minute. But still, what if they had come by themselves? Is that really all so bad? Has it suddenly become taboo to leave the house unaccompanied?

Some days I wish I could just go to a sit-down restaurant after a long day and have a nice meal to myself just because I want to. I mean, obviously, I can - but I guess it's just weird... Why is it so weird?

Maybe I just need to stop caring about what other people think. That's probably it.

Weekend Treasures.

I've been wanting to go thrift store shopping for a long, long time now and haven't had a free Sunday to do so untiiiiiilllll - drum roll please - today! So I headed over to Savers (my favorite thrift store in the area) and got myself pumped to pop some tags cause I only had $20 in my pocket. Really though I only had $20..........

Polka Dot Pants $17, Sunglasses $5, London Tee $3, Mint Tee $3

SO, in the above picture the only thing I actually got from Savers was this cool black tee with London graphics on the front. It's actually a men's t-shirt, but I liked it and the price was right so I figured why not. (Other items pictured: the polka dot pants were on sale at GAP, the mint pocket tee is from PacSun, and the sunnies are from the Long Beach Antique Market! They're a cool red-ish brown color and I also got a pair in black. Why? Because I'm a girl and we like to own the same things in different colors, okay?)

GAP Denim Jacket $9, Floral Cardi $4

These next two items I got at Savers as well. As I was looking through the racks the thrift store gods smiled down and bestowed upon me this awesome GAP denim jacket. And for less than $10! I could have died and gone to heaven. Not really because then I'd never get to wear it. Anyway, that was awesome. Then I found a cute sheer floral cardigan for super cheap so that was also awesome. (The cardigan came with shoulder pads, but I'm gonna take those out because sorry I'm not Molly Ringwald.) So my total Savers thrift store shopping total came out to be only $16! 

Amazing handcrafted elephant jewelry box

And then... there was this beauty. I found this little gem during my trip to the Long Beach Antique Market and I debated for what seemed like HOURS on whether or not I should buy it. Conclusion: did not buy. Do I regret it? Yes. But do I need it? No. But do I ever really need anything that I buy? No. Oh well... the price wasn't right ($35), so I had to let it go.


All in all it was a successful bargain hunting weekend! But, ugh, Monday tomorrow. Woe is me.

Stitched.

One of my all time favorite things that I've ever crocheted is this scarf. I made it a few months ago and I wouldn't be able to count how many times I've worn it this winter. I used the puff stitch to give it a chunkier look and warmer feel and it's definitely kept me super cozy on the coldest days. Pretty proud of it. So proud that I made it in black, too!

Happiness is...

Dessert from a few nights ago. Hea-ven-ly.

1. Getting treated out to a nice meal, just because.
2. Music that you can relate to.
3. Having someone who can always make you laugh.
4. Visiting new museums.
5. Beautiful weather.
6. Napping for as long as you want to.
7. Finding old photos that make you smile.
8. Giving presents.
9. The sound of the ocean.
10. Looking forward to tomorrow.

My Crafty Valentine.

One of the reasons I love holidays so much is because it gives me the chance to get a little crafty and make fun cards for people in my life. Albeit, my crafting skills are nothing to boast about, but I still enjoy coming up with cute ideas and working with all of the random things in my craft box (which, sadly, spends most of its time under my bed collecting dust these days). And I must say, sometimes I do surprise myself with the things my little ol' brain can think up.

This Valentine's Day I whipped up a card for my valentine and it went a little something like this:

Materials I used:

Scrapbook paper

Cardboard

Sheer white ribbon

Burgundy yarn

Scissors, sharpie, pencil, tape.

Optional/highly recommended crafting companion: Cheez-It Snack Mix (just be careful to not get cheese prints on everything... it was definitely an issue for me...)

Voila! My finished project! Spelled out 'love' with yarn, laid out ribbon on the bottom, and cut out a few hearts because, duh, it's Valentine's Day.

On the inside I added a poem that I really enjoy by Lang Leav. You can read it better here:

It's been a good Valentine's Day. I love love!

P.S. Half off Valentine's chocolate tomorrow. Ready to get chocolate wasted.

Portland Weather.

The kind of weather we had today reminded me a lot about Portland. The feeling of its-just-rained-and-it-feels-like-its-about-to-rain-again-soon kind of weather. The sunlight peeking out through the clouds and then disappearing for a while, but surely to come back again just before you start to miss it. Constantly walking on just rained on cement and hearing the cars drive by with that tire meets wet pavement sound.

I fell in love with this city the moment I arrived and started missing it the moment I left.

I'll be back one day, Portland.