pain-relief.

i waited for what seemed like an eternity for this school day to end. and now that it’s finally over and i’m at home in the comfort of my room, i realize why i wanted it to be over so quickly. feet were sore, calves were hurting, sickness induced headaches were fought, sleep was lacking, things were lost, and work just couldn’t be attempted at those desks. those were minor details of the day and they were all about me. but the major reason i wanted today to end so badly? it’s because i couldn’t stand being somewhere that made him cry like that. someplace that made him hurt like that. and without me knowing what to do made everything that much worse...

her day started out okay. nothing out of the ordinary. she knew she would have to run a mile that morning and it wasn’t something she was looking forward to. she was tired, her feet were sore, and it was too cold for anyone to be doing anything. clifton yelled for them to go, the timers started and all zero period sophomores began their 4 laps around the track. she didn’t want to do this. she was sick. tired. sore. but she went on. and this time, it was different. this time, she never stopped. not a single step did she walk. she just kept running. she doesn’t really have a reason as to why she kept going, but she did. she couldn’t let herself stop. maybe it was because she needed to prove to herself that she had at least some self-control left in her. because everything else she did seemed to prove her wrong. and when that was over, she figured the rest of her day would be smooth sailing. but, oh, how the winds turned on her...

lunch began and she walked to her locker as usual. she saw him there and there was something different about him. she couldn’t quite tell if something was wrong or not, but as soon as he wrapped his arms around her, she knew something wasn’t right. she held him for as long as she could and then let go, knowing they needed to go and talk. and as they walked past their usual lunch spot and out towards the back half of the school, she waited patiently until he told her what was wrong. then, his words suddenly started to piece together as they came out. and as he said those words with a quivering voice, tears ran down his face like she had never seen before. she looked at him as he told her everything and could feel nothing but pain because, for once, she didn’t know what to do. she didn’t know how to help him. she, herself, felt helpless. they kept walking, and then something happened. as he continued to pour all his feelings out to her, she looked over at him. and for the first time, it hurt to look into his eyes. they were filled with too much sorrow, too much pain, and too much disappointment and she couldn’t stand it. the tears seemed to fall forever and all she wanted to do at that very moment was to have the power to make them stop running down his face. she fumbled with the pink papers she held in her hand and listened to the sound of his voice filled with that same hurt and disappointment.

the seconds ticked away as they walked around the portables, and she felt as if she were useless. she had never felt this way around him before, but that feeling was all she could think about. useless, athena. what was she doing? she believed there was nothing she could do for him to make those tears disappear. but all she wanted was for those tears to evaporate and never be able to see living daylight again...

as they headed back into the center of the school with the rest of the students chattering happily with their friends, she felt as if she were somewhere else. off in another world where the only things that mattered was him. it hurt too much to see him like this and she wanted to make it all better. just for him. but seeing as she knew she couldn’t do it so quickly, the best kind of medicine she could give him were her hugs. temporary pain-relief.