the mess that is my mind.

i haven't made a real post in while. i find it hard to think of things to talk about lately. but just to let you know, it's no fun having a whole mess of things running around in my head, yet lacking the ability to convey them in writing. at least i have other sources i can turn to when one such means of emotional release is unreachable. but...at one o'clock in the morning those other sources aren't available so i am forced to resort back here.

this past week has been....interesting. to say the least. it was one of those up and down weeks where, in the end, everything just kinda balanced itself out. this week has really taught me that the simple things in life are what make it all worth it. cliche, i know. but true in some way or another. who knew the disappointment of an unsatisfying test grade could be dissolved through a handful of grapes being thrown into peoples' mouths? certainly not athena. but you learn something new everyday. i've learned that excessive cramming only works to a certain extent. health vocab i can cram. the entire european history politically, socially, and economically? not so much. i've also learned that sticking me in a stuffy gym for four hours with only one 10 minute break is not only considered child abuse in my mind, but is also utterly unhealthy. i went through three sticks of gum, smelled that perfumed piece of paper a million times, and hand-cramped enough times to think it was going to become paralyzed sooner or later. and to think, i'll have to go through this yet again next year. joy.

the only thing that was keeping me sane through those four hours was knowing that an hour after i got out of that building, i'd soon be able to forget about it all and chill with a bunch of amazing people. i have no worries when i'm with them. all i need is a couple of hours filled with laughter, food, and pictures, and i'm pretty much set. i find my happy place wherever they are. and i like it.

but that can only last for so long. if only life could stay the way it was in that bowling alley...