Sunday, July 12, 2009
sitting on her bed on a hotter than hot summer day, her body couldn't take staying stationary any longer. she needed something to do with her hands, something to take her mind off of the heat-induced headache that was pulsating through her head. she panned her room from left to right and found a teal bucket she got as a gift filled with "college necessities." she picked it up and found just what she needed: play-doh.
it's funny... before she opened those tiny lids of colorful dough she didn't think she was sad about anything. but as soon as she started molding, the more she wished she could make the things in her life turn out the way she wanted them to. the more she wished she could mold her own future and fill it with guarantees. having everything stay this good forever was all she wanted... not knowing what would happen in the future worried her. but she was determined never to settle for less. she would shape her life in her own way for as long as she could, until it was in somebody else's hands. and when that time comes, she needs a plan b.
it's a shame certainty is a luxury.
Monday, July 06, 2009
literally. whether it be me doing the calling or me getting the call, i always end up somewhere perfect enough to be considered a paradise. and paradise to me is being surrounded by people that make me happy unconditionally. being so consumed in laughter that i forget to breathe and when i finally take a breath i feel the best i ever have. being immersed in a deep conversation about life and the world and finding that you can escape reality if only for a while. or just being at the park feeling the breeze brush past you next to someone that enjoys nothing more than holding your hand and sharing your company.
i have been exceptionally happy these past few days. the freedom of summer never fails to thrill me. but i am 120% excited for college. although, it make take a little while to find the number for paradise over there.