ah, today has been such a good day. i spent the whole day with my mom, grandma, and sister. my grandma and pete came to visit from san diego, which they don't get to do that often. they got here at around 12:00, but then pete had to leave at around 3:00. and that was at around the same time my mom had to take my brother to a doctor's appointment. so it was just me, my sister, and my grandma for a while. and while we were home she showed us the thirty-bajillion pictures she took when she went to germany. crazy. and, of course, while we were looking through the pictures, she gave us german chocolate to eat :D so then my mom comes back and me and my grandma decide to go running/walking at around 4:00. oh the joys of having a young, in-shape grandmother :) although, she did more walking than i did. haha. she claims she could have beaten me to school, but her excuse was that she forgot her running shoes. puh-lease. so we run to oxford and then back (susie said she saw me. haha.) and then i take a nice, looong shower when we get home. then...target and costco! two of the best stores in the world. me, my mom, grandma, and sister went to target to buy clothes for my newborn cousin (well...2nd cousin. but does it really matter? i didn't think so.) and i get to see him for the first time tomorrow! i can't wait.
oh my...i'm gonna have to get up at 5:00 am tomorrow. airport to pick up the great-grandparents and then over an hour's drive with my sister and the grandparents to oceanside. sigh. but it'll be fun. be back on sunday :)
have you ever had that moment where one thing just goes wrong and it's like your whole day is totally ruined? yeah, i just did. aklsdgn; so you know how we have to do the introduction thing for spencer on turnitin.com? well, i was just doing that and i have to admit it was pretty good. i was satisfied. greatly. so naturally, when i finished i clicked on the submit button. but when i clicked on it, it redirected me to the turnitin.com homepage and said i wasn't logged in. preposterous! so then, i simply log back in and go back to the discussion board to check if my post was there. and of course with my kind of luck...
...IT WASN'T!! the exact words out of my mouth when i saw it wasn't there? and i quote, "you can NOT be serious." (just imagine that with my jaw dropped and eyes wide. then you've got it.) all that time spent typing up what would be the very first impression my AP english teacher would have of me and i lose it all. i was sooo mad. you have no idea. i typed up so much! and i did NOT want to do it all again. and yet, i had to.
rawr. i just finished retyping my introduction. it's kinda the same as my first one. but i don't think it's as good. oh well. what's done is done.
(okay, so i think i TOTALLY overreacted at first, but whatever. i was in the moment. haha. and i just realized what a ridiculous word preposterous is. hahahahhahahha. oh geez...)
"for all those times you stood by me. for all the truth that you made me see. for all the joy you brought to my life. for all the wrong that you made right. for every dream you made come true. for all the love I found in you. i'll be forever thankful, baby. you're the one who held me up, never let me fall. you're the one who saw me through, through it all. you were my strength when i was weak. you were my voice when i couldn't speak. you were my eyes when i couldn't see. you saw the best there was in me. lifted me up when i couldn't reach. you gave me faith cause you believed. i'm everything i am. because you loved me. you gave me wings and made me fly. you touched my hand i could touch the sky. i lost my faith, you gave it back to me. you said no star was out of reach. you stood by me and i stood tall. i had your love, i had it all. i'm grateful for each day you gave me. maybe i don't know that much. but i know this much is true. i was blessed because i was loved by you.you were my strength when i was weak. you were my voice when i couldn't speak. you were my eyes when i couldn't see. you saw the best there was in me. lifted me up when i couldn't reach. you gave me faith cause you believed. i'm everything i am. because you loved me. you were always there for me. the tender wind that carried me. a light in the dark shining your love into my life. you've been my inspiration. through the lies you were the truth. my world is a better place because of you. you were my strength when i was weak. you were my voice when i couldnt speak. you were my eyes when i couldn't see. you saw the best there was in me. lifted me up when i couldn't reach. you gave me faith cause you believed. i'm everything i am. because you loved me..."
i bet you i've posted this song before, but oh well. alksjdlajf; i love this song soo much. rona just reminded me about it today. maybe i'll sing it for you next time ;) HAHAHHA, i was such a pooper today. hoorah!
so many secrets that are posted on postsecret can be so depressing. it sucks knowing there are so many people out there that have secrets that are hurting them mentally/physically/emotionally day after day and they can't talk to anyone about them. and when oxfordsecret started up, i saw how even people my own age are having their own problems that they can't seem to share openly in order to fix them. i'm just glad that i have people in my life that i can run to whenever i have a problem. aside from my family, there are only a handful of people out there that i can tell absolutely ANYTHING to. they should know who they are. and i am forever grateful for their open ears and open hearts. and just so you all know, if you ever need anyone to talk to, i'll be here, there, anywhere you need me. i promise. i'm all ears.
and to end on a happy note, this secret made me really giddy:
yes, yes. stealing is bad. but it's cute, right?! :)
"one touch and i'm hooked and i am drowning. one look and i'm lost inside your eyes. excuse me i don't mean to be staring, but i've forgotten all my lines. i was gonna say, 'hey, you're looking fine today'. not that i've only noticed now. i was gonna say, 'hey, you think there is a way that i could get you to stay for a while?' for a little while. i'm trying. articulate and failing. my words just aren't cooperating. 'breathe deeply', i'm trying to tell myself. but my heart won't slow cause of you. i was gonna say, 'hey, you're looking fine today'. not that i've only noticed now. i was gonna say, 'hey, you think there is a way that i could get you to stay?' i tried it once or twice. not looking in your eyes. but that's impossible, baby. this feeling's so brand new. i wanna speak to you, but i was never good at impromptu. i was gonna say, 'hey, you're looking fine today'. not that i've only noticed now. i was gonna say, 'hey, you think there is a way that i could... that i could...that i could...' i was gonna say, 'hey, you're looking fine today'. not that i've only noticed now. i was gonna say, 'hey, you think there is a way that i could...that i could...that i could get you to stay?' not that i've only noticed now. i was gonna say, 'hey, you think there is a way that i could...that i could...that i could...' i was gonna say, 'hey, you're looking fine today'. not that i've only noticed now. i was gonna say, 'hey you think there is a way that i could get you to stay for a while?'"
day after endless day, i have waited for this moment to arrive. and finally, it's here! freedom, my friends. it's ours. no more hearing that stupid alarm clock go off every morning making me wake up to another day of school. yes, i admit (and not shamefully) that i did like school. almost always i looked forward to seeing friends and having fun in class. unless of course i had a total of 3 hours of sleep the night before. cause then i lacked the ability to focus and considered the lectures of teachers nothing more than something keeping me from sleeping. but yes, school was good.
and i've grown a lot this year. more so than i think i ever have during a school year. and i don't mean height-wise. cause i seriously don't think i've grown for the past 2 years. but i mean i've learned a lot about myself this year. i know when enough is enough for me and when too much of something can turn out to be good. i've seen which friends are sincere and which friends i can always turn to. but i've also found friends that somehow down the road, i will find myself without. and i'm okay with that. i've had a number of breakdowns this year, but they've all made me a stronger person. they've opened my eyes to obstacles that may seem difficult to overcome at first, but try and try again, and i can make it.
there are friendships that i have gained this year that i am forever grateful for. i believe people come into your life for a reason and this year, i have found out a lot of those reasons. whether it be for a shoulder to cry on or a friend to laugh with, they were there. i really am the luckiest person on earth to have them in my life.
and to top it all off, the last day of school was one of the best days of my life. no joke. it was perfect. our class has become so much closer and i could not have asked for better people to spend the day with. oa class of 2009 gets stronger with every passing day. it's going to be hard leaving them once we graduate. i mean, it was hard just saying goodbye after the bonfire. but really, yesterday was amazing. successful tanning, mormon kissing game/kissing rugby (whatever you wanna call it), walking along main street, volleyball, the perfect water temperature, music, talking, laying in a whole in the sand, "you have a strong eyebrow bone" (AHAHHAHHHAHhahaHA :DD), making shapes out of nothing, the sound of the ocean, foooood, sleeping on the beach, and so much more. dang. not even getting a splinter in my foot could ruin my day. nothing could. i love you class of 2009! WE'RE JUNIORS!
p.s. i can't believe i didn't take any pictures at the beach yesterday. but that's okay. cause this time, i don't need pictures to remember this day by. i'll never forget it :)
so the last official sophomore class committee meeting was today at lunch. crazy, right? this year has seriously flown by and it wouldn't have been the same without this committee. we've done so much together throughout the year. laughed together. stressed together. planned together. ATE TOGETHER. worked bingo together. put together the most amazing sadies oxford has ever seen together. and so much more.
being the first year that i was on committee, i don't have anything to compare this experience to. but for the years to come, this committee is what i will measure all other committees against. i know that for sure. i'm comfortable around them. (i mean, we stuff our faces like no other in front of each other. and i seriously think we eat more than any other committee on the planet...) we fit together. and i appreciate every single one of them and everything they've done this year for our class. i just hope next year's committee will be as loving, caring, and hardworking as this one was.
"the whole purpose of places like starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. so people who don't know what the heck they're doing or who on earth they are, can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: tall. decaf. cappuccino." - you've got mail.
paper or plastic? chocolate or vanilla? beach or pool? hot or cold? singing or dancing? curly fries or regular fries? sneakers or flip-flops? running or walking? roses or daises? ipod or camera? saving or spending? mine or yours? there are a bajillion decisions we have to make in life and sometimes it's not that easy to choose. trust me, i know.
so i've seen you've got mail just about a thousand times. whenever it's on i watch it with my mom. it's a cute movie. i never paid attention to this part before despite the countless number of times i've seen the movie. but i hadn't watched it in a while and now...i can relate to it. it's amusing actually. i like it when i can make decisions easily. cause then i won't have to struggle with my ridiculous indecisiveness. yeah, i complain about being indecisive a lot (and i thank you for putting up with it), but it's probably one of the first things i would want to change about myself. cause i'd very much like to choose between things without having to resort to the ever-so-popular "i don't care". translation: "i can't choose to save my life, so you can choose for me". coming off as apathetic works a lot of the time. unless of course you're dealing with another indecisive person who also "doesn't care". because then it just turns into a never-ending "what do you wanna do? i don't care. whatever you wanna do. i don't know what to do. i'll do what you wanna do..." haha. yeah, i've had these conversations many, many times before.
anywho, maybe i'll get better at this whole indecisive thing over time. who knows. but for now, i'm off to struggle with the decision of whether to do history or english. at least i've made the decision to actually attempt homework. one decision down, a million more to go in life. it's a start.