Sunday, August 23, 2009

walking with the breeze.

today i took a walk to the park. i stepped out the door with the intentions of taking on this walk alone. but as soon as i stepped out onto the street, i found a companion. i could talk to my companion, but my companion would not talk back. i could reach out my hand to my companion, but my companion could not hold on to it. my companion could see me, but i could not see my companion. it was as if i was walking with someone that wasn't really there... yet i didn't feel alone.

we reached the park, and as i laid down, i could feel my new found friend surrounding me, as if i were a child that needed a safety blanket. the minutes passed and i said not a word. but as soon as i got up to leave, i felt as if i had just had the best conversation i have had with anyone in a while.

then on my way home, i realized my companion was gone. as i walked, i looked around to find her in the trees, but the leaves did not stir. i looked for her in the streets, but everything stayed motionless. i suddenly felt alone.

i walked quicker towards home and about a block away, my companion came back. she stayed with me the rest of the way home and as i stepped inside, i was glad to have made a new friend. but then i realized something. this wasn't a new friend. i have had this friend all along.

"love is like the wind... you can’t see it, but you can feel it"

Sunday, August 16, 2009

such sweet sorrow.

"we only part to meet again..."

they turned left onto her street and he found a place to park so that they could savor the last few moments they had together. he turned the engine off, unbuckled his seatbelt as if to stay awhile, then turned towards her. it was late and the streetlights were dim, but she looked at him and found his eyes staring straight at hers. not piercing daggers, not a judgmental glare, but rather... an understanding kind of stare. a mutual understanding. something that couldn't really be put into words.

she leaned forward and put his face in her hands. she loved how soft he felt. they put their foreheads together and she closed her eyes. if she could just stay in this moment forever... he moved his hand to touch hers, still on his cheek. "are you gonna be okay?" he asked. she nodded and bit her lip, but she couldn't hold it in any longer. the tears started pouring so he wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face in his shoulder. "it's okay baby, we'll figure it out." she tried to say something, but her words got caught in her throat and it was hard to speak inbetween sobs.

finally the tears stopped falling and the shortness of breath subsided. he wiped away the hair from her face and she just stared at him again. she didn't know when the next time would be that he'd be sitting in front of her, still within arms reach. "you know i love you right?" she said. he nodded, their foreheads touching once again. "i love you, too."

they reached over the compartment in the middle separating the two of them and embraced one last time. she squeezed him with the intention of never letting go, yet knowing in just a few moments she would have to. "i'm gonna miss you," he said. "i'm gonna miss you too," she whispered. they untangled their arms and found their hands holding the other's. they sat like that for a while, holding hands, just talking. telling her to be strong and to have fun. and telling him to make sure to call so she doesn't forget what his voice sounds like.

then the phone rang. that God forsaken phone. the phone rang and they both knew he needed to leave. this is it, she thought. she handed him his going-away present, gathered her things, and opened the car door. he started the engine, and just before she stepped out, she leaned in and give him one last kiss goodbye. then she walked down the street towards her house.

she stopped in the shadows just before reaching her front door. she waited until he drove by so she could have one last glance. he drove past and she watched as he moved farther and farther away, until he was gone.

she'll still be here. waiting for him to come home to her.