homesick.

today...i realized i am homesick. but not the normal kind of homesick that people get when they move away (after all i am still living at home). it's the kind of homesick that you get for a place that wasn't really your home, but in a way kind of always was. it's a place where i felt safe, i felt loved, i felt confident enough to be my self, i felt happy, i felt comforted, i felt good enough, i felt welcomed, i felt... at home. but then i realize i can't call this place home anymore. it is no longer mine. it's changed. it's become something without me because i was the one who left.


i wish i could go home.

look, ma! no hands!

today was my first day of college.

everything went perfectly and everyone i met was so nice and willing to make conversation. i absolutely loved having rona in two of my classes. my polisci professor is really cool and i can already tell he is going to be my favorite. i doodled a lot cause the professors all talked about the same thing (furlough days, their syllabus, course description, etc). i walked up 5 flights of stairs to the library and realized how pathetically out of shape i am. i think i walked over the entire campus today. i walked too much today. i saw someone that looked like stefan, but then i was like wait... stefan doesn't go here athena! then athena felt a little homesick for oxford, but class was starting in 10 minutes so she let the feeling pass.

i don't think i could have had a more perfect first day of college. the only thing that would have made it better is if i hadn't forgotten my water bottle in the morning. it was hot.