Saturday, December 22, 2007

the gift.

"winter snow is falling down, children laughing all around. lights are turning on like a fairy tale come true. sitting by the fire we made, you're the answer when i prayed i would find someone. and baby i found you.

all i want is to hold you forever. all i need is you more every day. you saved my heart from being broken apart. you gave your love away and i'm thankful every day for the gift.

watching as you softly sleep, what i'd give if i could keep just this moment. if only time stood still. but the colors fade away and the years will make us gray, but baby in my eyes you'll still be beautiful.

all i want is to hold you forever. all i need is you more every day. you saved my heart from being broken apart. you gave your love away and i'm thankful every day for the gift."

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

hotel california.

"on a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair. warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air. up ahead in the distance, i saw a shimmering light. my head grew heavy and my sight grew dim. i had to stop for the night. there she stood in the doorway; i heard the mission bell. and i was thinking to myself, 'this could be heaven or this could be hell.' then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way. there were voices down the corridor, i thought i heard them say...

welcome to the hotel california. such a lovely place, such a lovely face. plenty of room at the hotel california. any time of year, you can find it here.

her mind is tiffany-twisted, she got the mercedes benz. she got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends. how they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat. some dance to remember, some dance to forget. so i called up the captain, 'please bring me my wine.' he said, 'we haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine.' and still those voices are calling from far away. wake you up in the middle of the night just to hear them say...

welcome to the hotel california. such a lovely place, such a lovely face. they livin’ it up at the hotel california. what a nice surprise, bring your alibis.

mirrors on the ceiling, the pink champagne on ice. and she said 'we are all just prisoners here, of our own device.' and in the master’s chambers, they gathered for the feast. they stab it with their steely knives, but they just can’t kill the beast. last thing i remember, i was running for the door. i had to find the passage back to the place i was before. 'relax,' said the night man, 'we are programmed to receive. you can checkout any time you like, but you can never leave!"


the only one on this planet that i will ever let near my feet.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Sunday, December 16, 2007


5 days until winter break.
9 days until Christmas.
15 days until New Year's.
37 days until my 17th birthday.

life goes by too quickly nowadays. if only time would slow down a little to let me catch up.

star struck.

"where is your inspiration? you lost it, oh so long ago. so much for innovation, i saw this coming long before. you had no motivation, your hopes are high but trapped below. this constant competition, we've won but you're still keeping score. but i grew up, wishing on a star. you think i won't ever get too far. so high on dedication, it feels so good to get away from all this repetition, this angry town, this battleground. so now we'll break tradition, we'll leave you swimming in our wake. without your inspiration, you won't survive, you'll surely drown. but i grew up, wishing on a star. you think i won't ever get too far.but i grew up, wishing on a star. you think i won't ever get too far. where is your inspiration? you lost it, oh so long ago..."

Friday, December 14, 2007

happiness is...

1. getting a new pair of gloves to keep me warm.
2. being with my mom.
3. big, blue, fuzzy house slippers that i got last Christmas :)
4. apple pie/pie in general.
5. anticipation for an exciting tomorrow.
6. getting butterflies and not knowing why.
7. this picture. and this one.
8. remembering this, this, and this.
9. watching whose line is it anyway?.
10. doing cartwheels cause i'm so dang happy.

we take over.

not just haha, but HAHAHHA.

one of my favorite things in the world is to laugh until i start crying. i'm talking a side-splitting, tear jerking kind of laughter. the kind where you're cracking up so hysterically you just can't stop and your face hurts when you try and catch your breath. and when you inhale that breath, something inside of you starts rearing its gears and there you go again...laughing your head off until you can't see because the tears are inhibiting your vision. i don't know about you, but it leaves me feeling wonderfully refreshed. everyone could use a good laugh now and then.

and you know what's even better than laughing until you cry? having someone to laugh with you until you cry. it's the best. whether it's laughing at a table in your english class with the person sitting next to you or sitting in the field during lunch and talking about windshield wipers on airplanes (and birds that prove to be useless), laughter can be evoked anywhere. you should really try it some time.

besides, it adds a couple years to your lifetime. so why not? :)


so i was out shopping today with my mom and sister and while my mom was paying for stuff me and my sister decided to go wait in the car. alyssa went out first and i stayed inside a little longer to look around more. when i walked out of the store, i saw her just standing outside the car with the door opened. why is she not getting in? i wondered to myself. as i got closer i kinda just looked at her funny and she was like..."dude". the utterance of that one word made it all the more confusing.

i got to the car door and went to open it. she was still standing there. i was still puzzled. i pulled on the handle and made it halfway into the car. why only halfway? because that's as far as my nostrils would allow. the inside of the car stank--BIG TIME. so the two of us just stood there, in the freezing cold, refusing to sit in the car.

so my mom comes out and sees her two daughters just standing there with the doors open and gives us the same look i gave my sister when i walked out. but alas, my mother has a cold. she could smell nothing. and let me tell you, this smell was strong. finally, my sister and i mustered up the courage to get in and endure the horrible stench for 7 minutes on the ride home. we kept the windows down and stuck our heads out like dogs. it must have been an interesting sight to see.

the smell was practically completely gone about 3/4 of the way home, but i was still hesitant to breathe. my sister and i have yet to find out how this mysterious smell has come about. i don't really care that much. just as long as i never have to smell it again. hopefully there's no skunk living in our car.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

"for you, a thousand times over."

i cannot possibly remember the last time i have cried that hard during a movie. this movie is a MUST SEE. as in, GO NOW. it really opens your eyes to things that are happening in the world. it teaches you about love, loyalty, honor, and friendship and it has officially become one of my favorite movies of all time. please please go watch it. you won't regret it.

(oh, and if you need someone to go with, i'm your girl. i will watch this movie over and over and over and over...then fifteen more times after that.)

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

what remains...

...of the greatest gingerbread house, made with the best little buddy, on the longest wednesday in the world. stand strong, little gummy man. stand strong.

divide and conquer.

despite what everyone may say, i think it's healthy to have an anxiety attack every once in a while. i know, i know. sounds absurd, right? well, then i guess for the time being let's just say i'm only talking about myself. so let's rephrase: i think it's healthy for me to have an anxiety attack every once in a while. why, you ask? simply because it puts everything into perspective for me. i force myself to think about every little thing i'm worrying about and break it all down. find out all my problems then get myself to a solution.

i had one of these healthy little panic trips today and i'm not exactly sure how it started. it was more in my mind than spoken aloud though. i think it's better that way. i went through the motions of thinking it all out and i'm pretty sure i've got it all settled. i took everything i needed to work on, figured out how i got there in the first place, why i was still there, and how i needed to get out of there, and voila! end freak out.

it may be easier said than done, but we'll see where i land.

Monday, December 10, 2007

playing in my head.

hey there delilah, what's it like in new york city? i'm a thousand miles away, but girl tonight you look so pretty. yes you do. times square can't shine as bright as you. i swear it's true. hey there delilah, don't you worry about the distance. i'm right there if you get lonely. give this song another listen. close your eyes. listen to my voice it's my disguise. i'm by your side.

oh it's what you do to me
oh it's what you do to me
oh it's what you do to me
oh it's what you do to me
what you do to me.

hey there delilah, you be good and don't you miss me. two more years and you'll be done with school and i'll be making history like i do. you know it's all because of you. we can do whatever we want to. hey there delilah here's to you. this ones for you.

oh it's what you do to me
oh it's what you do to me
oh it's what you do to me
oh it's what you do to me
what you do to me.

(if just one line of this song somehow reaches my ears, the entire song is stuck in my head. for days. argh. i don't even know who i heard it from today...)

don't worry,


when things don't add up or balance the way they're supposed to...what do you do?

alice: "panic?!"

someone else: "cry?!?"

"debit: FAILURE.
credit: GOODS STOLEN?!"

...yep. that's the one. accounting is a blast.

(man, i had a good day.)

je ne sais pas.

je vraiment ne comprends pas pourquoi cette classe est trés alésage. vraiment. les minutes vont par si lent. aujourd'hui, victoria et moi ont regardé l'horloge, puis l'un l'autre. nous sommes presque morts. quelquefois... la classe est amusement. seulement quelquefois. je veux dire, j'aime mme pc, mais je juste n'apprends rien (well, i guess not nothing considering i'm writing this). la seule raison que je survis cette classe est parce que de victoria, dominique, soomi, et lily. je serai heureux quand cette année plus de. mais en même temps triste parce que je perds mon temps de petit somme et mon A facile. beh, je ne sais pas.

je vous souhaite un bon journée. au revoir.

(p.s. expression française préférée du jour: "je sucké at life." - jeffrey chao.)

Sunday, December 09, 2007

sixteen, going on seventeen.

i shall take a break from reading this oh-so intriguing (no sarcasm intended) scarlet letter and wish a very special someone a happy seventeenth birthday because, well, she is just that important.

ah, kimly. seventeen long years has gone by with you gracing this world with your wonderful presence. apparently, being seventeen is now considered old (especially to a certain math teacher). and yet, to a guy who tries to sell us a magic nail thingamajigger, his mouth begs the question "why so young?" once we utter our ages. you may be only a month and some odd days older than me, but in my eyes, you are many years wiser. from one passing day to another, you never fail to teach me something new. be it something utterly insignificant to the naked eye or a tidbit that makes me wonder so much more about the life i'm living, you never cease to amaze me.

have a happy birthday, love.


what do you want to be when you grow up, athena? i really do hate that question. i never have an answer. but i've come to the conclusion that there is only one thing that i want to be when i grow up. happy. i want to be happy. that's all i want.
and i just liked this one...

got milk?

never have i been so disappointed in the morning than i was when i opened the fridge to find no milk for my cereal. and the worst part about it? i had already poured the cereal into my bowl! tragic, i know. i wonder if we have any toaster strudel...

Saturday, December 08, 2007

lesson of the day:

"always question authority."
"that's how we got here."

pet peeve.

last night i realized something that really really bugged me. first off, i'm not much of a gum chewer. i don't think i ever was. and if i was, it was more so in junior high than it is now. but anyway, gaby gave me a piece of gum on thursday and i didn't feel like chewing it in physics, so i saved it for later. and then yesterday, before i left for the choir show, i remembered i had it. i wasn't hungry enough to eat, so i just stuck the gum in my mouth. this was at 6:30. i left at around 7:00 and the gum was already losing taste. then i got to cook auditorium and still had the gum in my mouth. show started...still chewing. by the time it got around to the third or fourth number, the gum was already dead. like...dead dead. no taste whatsoever dead. i hate dead gum. and what i hate even more is not having somewhere to spit it out. it just sat in my mouth for the rest of the show. dead. it was like chewing rubber (not that i would know what chewing rubber tastes like, but i'm pretty sure it would taste like that gum. maybe better).

i guess i left the wrapper at home, so i looked through my bag to see if i had anything i could use, but found nothing. it was really annoying having that piece of gum in my mouth for so long. 4 hours!! ridiculous, i tell you. and i'm completely against sticking gum underneath chairs and desks and any other place that some innocent person could find (which is another huge pet peeve), so i never considered doing that. anyway, what did i learn from this? gum ain't that great.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

makes me smile.

odd banana out.

"so i am a banana. being a banana is not bad at all. there are many advantages to being one. it is a unique fruit that has its own characteristics, way of growth, and way of presenting itself to the world. it is a distinct member of the fruit family. it is sweet and satisfying. i love being a banana. and have you ever noticed that after peeling back a its golden yellow skin, the ripe pulp of a banana is actually a shade of pale yellow? a harmonious mixture of yellow and white together in a sweet, wonderful fruit. it's a nice color, perfectly acceptable, but not many people notice it. here's my final question: if i am a banana, unique, sweet, wonderful...what kind of fruit are you?"

me too. albeit, i'm technically supposed to be a "chocolate covered banana", but there's nothing i can really do about it. i wasn't born with dark skin like other filipinos and there have been times when i looked in the mirror and wondered why, but none of that really matters to me anymore. so what if i'm paler than other filipinos and people have to ask me whether or not i'm filipino rather than just knowing? that's just who i am. and no matter what, i will always be filipino. there's nothing anyone can do to take that away from me. and nothing can change the fact that i'm american either. i've thought about whether i'm more filipino or more american, but my answer is never constant. one day i can be more filipino than the next and on another i can be completely, as kathleen would put it, white-washed. that's just who i am. and, well, i kinda really like it.


i realized today people have really disgusting habits. well, one in particular. i was walking behind some freshman (i think) today and out of nowhere, what does he decided to do? spit. yes, he decided to eject his wonderful saliva out of his mouth and onto the ground i was about to walk on. i mean, really, kid? gee-ross. so for future reference, let's not spit anywhere within a 50,829 meter radius of athena. thanks. or, hey, maybe we could just not spit....ever! you can spit when you brush your teeth though. or if you eat something disgusting. i'll give you that much. see how much i care?

as for me, the most disgusting habit i have is...procrastination. it's nauseating really. i'll try and break that habit right now. if only for today.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

love actually.




this movie has it all :)

sick, meet boredom.

"nina, wake up. it's a quarter to seven."
i didn't move. more like i couldn't.
i heard my sister get up from her bed. i still didn't move.
the door opened.
"is she going to school today?"
"i don't know. she's not getting up."
the door closed.
i went back to sleep, then a while later i felt the right side of my bed sink down. my mom was sitting on the edge trying to wake me up.
"are you okay? are you going to school today?"
i opened my eyes and stared at her for a couple seconds. then mustered the strength to shake my head from side to side.
"okay," she said. then walked out of my room.

i woke up with a little pain in between my eyebrows, but the sun was shining happily through my windows. i didn't want to put my glasses on cause that'd just make the pain worse, so i strained my eyes to read the clock on the other side of the room. i could barely make out that the big hand was on the 6 and the little hand was barely above the 9. 9:30, i thought to myself. that means i'd still be in a math right now... suddenly my sickness didn't seem like such a bad thing anymore.

but as the hours wore on, i couldn't help but wish i was at school with friends doing something more then lying in my bed and watching my dog walk around, trying to find some entertainment of her own. it was nice having my first day off of school, but having a less than sufficient amount of human contact all day was getting to me. by twelve o'clock i had gone through four chapters of the scarlet letter, finished my division/classification paragraph on music, and even managed to do my french homework. if that doesn't show how ridiculously bored i was, i don't know what will.

anyway, i think it's time for me to get myself out of my bed. or maybe i'll do some more reading. who knows. hope your day was dandy. now stop reading this and do your homework.

(p.s. 20 days until Christmas!)

Monday, December 03, 2007


as i'm about to head to bed, i just realized i didn't watch tv at all today. not one second. i never even touched the remote. this astounds me greatly. but i really should disconnect myself from the tube more often. i feel...rejuvenated today. it's interesting. okay, that is all. time for head to meet pillow. goodnight, friends.

hiccups, headache, homework, & hibernating.

hiccups. after i walked into french today, i kinda went into a hiccuping fit. have i ever mentioned just how annoying i think hiccups are? cause they're really really annoying. right when i got into my seat they started. i hiccuped and hiccuped, then held my breath and then....still hiccuped. so i held my breath some more, still hiccuped, drank some water, held my breath again, then more hiccups. this is seriously the most i've ever been frustrated by hiccups. they wouldn't go away!! finally after some more breath holding and water drinking, they went away, but then guess what i got?

a headache. i think cutting off the proper flow of oxygen to my brain caused this to happen, so i'm not exactly surprised. (darn you hiccups!!). i called my mom right after school so she could come pick me up and while i waited for her i laid on the benches in the parking lot area. the sun kinda made me feel better cause i was cold, but i just wanted to sleep. so, i got home at 2:00 and instead of sleeping i decided to do...

homework. why? i don't know. i think i figured that knowing i got homework out of the way early would help me sleep easier. (and wow, was i right). but while i was halfway through math homework, guess what decided to show up again. my hiccups! i wanted to shoot them. (but that wouldn't turn out very well cause technically if i shot them, i'd be shooting myself. and, well, i don't wanna die). anyway, they didn't last for very long, and i think i was too intent upon finishing my homework to really care as much anymore. so i finished homework at 3:30 (i know, right?!) and decided that i should do some...

hibernating. i was only planning on sleeping for an hour, so i set my alarm for 4:30 and, well, my alarm woke me up at 4:30 and i shut it off, but decided to lay there for a little while and....ended up sleeping for 2 more hours. usually when this happens i get really mad at myself cause i still have homework to do, but this time i didn't! yay. so basically from 3:30 to 6:30 i was shut off from the world, and i must say, it was very nice.

Sunday, December 02, 2007


with her backpack unzipped and the contents spilling out, a precalc book yearning to be closed because of the hours it had spent open, a binder, and a few loose papers strewn around her, plus a laptop on her stomach, she lay in bed completely oblivious to all of these things. the heat of the laptop was the only thing she was aware of because it was keeping her nice and warm. she didn't know what time it was, but that didn't really matter to her. she wasn't that tired, but then again she was. her body was tired, but her brain wasn't. she could hear her sister breathing in the bed next to her's. it was a little soothing, knowing she wasn't alone in the room. she was lying on her back with her hands resting behind her head, staring at the ceiling. the walls of her room were green, but her ceiling was a blank white. she stared at it for a while, then slowly began thinking about, well, life. it started off with how her day had been, then yesterday, then the day before, the whole week, then the school year. she remembered all the good things, then all the not-so-good. the ceiling wasn't blank anymore. as she stared at it, she could see all of these things happening again.

after thinking and watching for a while, she closed her eyes. her brain was still awake, so everything kept playing. she doesn't know how long she stayed like that, but it felt like a really long time.

then...she opened her eyes. everything was where it had been some forty-five, sixty, ninety minutes ago. the backpack, the binder, the math book, the laptop -- everything. the ceiling was blank again and she was in the exact same position. it was as if time had stood still. it felt as though she had just gone through a whole new day. she had been with the people she loved, she did things that made her happy, and she regretted none of it. she put everything away and went to bed, still hearing the sound of her sister's breathing. and she found comfort in knowing she'd still be there in the morning.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

happiness is...

1. realizing the best present is quality time with a good friend.
2. hearing josh groban's voice.
3. watching your dog sleep on your bed.
4. still having leftover birthday cake in the fridge for a midnight snack.
5. getting homework out of the way.
6. cuddling up in blankets with Christmas music bouncing off the walls of your room.
7. watching a dad and three little ones walk out of a maternity store with a present for their mom.
8. having santa wave at you in your car.
9. listening to the rain while you're lying in bed.
10. knowing there's only 24 days until Christmas.

i'm happy.

my Christmas tune.

"what to give the girl who has everything. all i want for Christmas is you. here’s my list, i checked it twice. wasn’t good, wasn’t bad, i was naughty and nice. had my eye on you all year long and now i know for sure. i wouldn’t even have to try you on. no need for gift return.

it’s going to be a cold winter, but i wont need the heat to keep me warm. as long as you wrap yourself around me on Christmas morn’. whether it’s now or later, as long as it’s before you go, you know. my love is always in your favor. and now you know that all i want for

sweet like a candy cane hanging from the tree, i will stripe you red and green. when you hit me like a sugar rush, no need for the other stuff. this season you’re all that i need. they say wishing for you is like wishing for snow in southern california, but you know that i can prove them all wrong cause my love is true. i simply adore ya.

it’s going to be a cold winter, but i wont need the heat to keep me warm. as long as you wrap yourself around me on Christmas morn’. whether it’s now or later, as long as it’s before you go, you know. my love is always in your favor. and now you know that all i want for

can’t say that i’ve been good all year, but i’ve been making resolutions to get you here. and if it means being better then whatever, no sweat. well i bet my halls that i deck for the cause. and santa claus, he knows what my intentions are. even dismissing mistletoe so i get to know ya, first of all. singing oh my God, you’re the reason that i decorate my yard.

it’s going to be a cold winter, but i wont need the heat to keep me warm. as long as you wrap yourself around me on Christmas morn’. whether it’s now or later, as long as it’s before you go, you know. my love is always in your favor. and now you know that all i want for Christmas...all i want for Christmas...all i want for Christmas is us."

well, duh i had to.

(if you could only understand how much i love them. really.)

it's a beautiful morning.

i wake up to the smell of my mom's french toast running through the house and into my room. i place my glasses on my head and find a fresh batch sitting on the kitchen table. oh, how i love her french toast. as i savor this delicious morning treat, i find notting hill playing on tv. how perfect could that be? my mom's french toast and cuddling in blankets with a cute movie to watch in peace. then i walk into the living room and what do i find? the Christmas tree! every year after thanksgiving (and at times even before) i bug my mom over and over again about getting to put the Christmas tree up. in my opinion, getting to decorate the Christmas tree is one of the best parts about Christmas. then we get to go through the millions of boxes of old pictures we have and change the picture we have on our ornament (cause we all have our own). it's so much fun. it really starts to feel like Christmas once i get to walk into the living room every morning and see it all decked out with lights and ribbons and whatnot. have i mentioned how much i love Christmas? because i really do think that should be articulated several thousand times and then some.

and you know what else made this morning perfect? while i was watching notting hill and it cut to commercial, i switched to VH1 to catch the top 20 countdown and the second i got to the channel GUESS WHAT STARTED PLAYING. just guess. THE VIDEO PREMIERE OF "WON"T GO HOME WITHOUT YOU." ahhhhhhhh! i didn't think they'd play it until later, but i guess i was wrong. i was so so so happy. maroon 5 tends to have that effect on me. this could possibly even have made up for the fact that i didn't get my weekly dose of a brand new office. possibly. sigh, if i could only go to their concert just once in my life...

anywho, i shall end this. the Christmas tree looks lonely. it needs some decorating love.