Monday, March 31, 2008


a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

my dad has always taught me to do things that would make me proud of myself and to be proud of everything that i do. to be proud of where i came from and where i'm going. to be proud of my intelligence and my ability to know right from wrong. to be proud of the things i accomplish and the obstacles i overcome. but never to be too proud as to put others down or to forget the lessons i learned on the way.

but apparently, there are people out there that have been taught none of this. either that or they were sadly too full of their own self-pride to remember any of it. people can just be really annoying sometimes. not all the time. just...sometimes. i highly dislike people that are patronizing and condescending. and especially people that think they know everything (when they really don't). and they're even worse when they're proven wrong. they go to absurd lengths to try to make us see it their way when there is obviously no way in the galaxy that they could even be remotely close to being right.

don't get me wrong. self-respect is a very important aspect that i think everyone should have, but when it comes to the point where you just think you're better than everyone else...keep it to yourselves. honestly, a little humility goes a long way.

Sunday, March 30, 2008


our days would be happier
if we gave people a little bit of our hearts
rather than a piece of our mind.

spring break.

mission(s) accomplished.

good times.

"Athena Anduiza" (12:42:59 AM): CHEESY PICK UP LINE
"Athena Anduiza" (12:43:01 AM): GIMME ONE
"Athena Anduiza" (12:43:12 AM): cmon gerard i know you got em
"Athena Anduiza" (12:43:13 AM): hahha
"Gerard Boltron" (12:43:14 AM): UM
"Gerard Boltron" (12:43:18 AM): I DON'T NEED PICK UP LINES
"Gerard Boltron" (12:43:23 AM): I HAVE THE LADIES AT HELLO
"Gerard Boltron" (12:43:24 AM): HAHAHAHA
"Athena Anduiza" (12:43:30 AM): HAHAHHHAHA

"Athena Anduiza" (2:10:54 AM): hahaha
"Jessica Ly" (2:10:57 AM): AT LEAST WITH MY NAME
"Gerard Boltron" (2:11:03 AM): HAHAHA
"Gerard Boltron" (2:11:12 AM): PRPLE PIRATES
"Gerard Boltron" (2:11:13 AM): HAHAHA
"Athena Anduiza" (2:11:14 AM): purple and pirates!
"Athena Anduiza" (2:11:15 AM): woooo
"Jessica Ly" (2:11:16 AM): YEP
"Athena Anduiza" (2:11:17 AM): hahha
"Gerard Boltron" (2:11:25 AM): I'D BE BLUEPIZZAMAN
"Jessica Ly" (2:11:31 AM): HAHA NICE
"Athena Anduiza" (2:11:31 AM): HAHAHHA
"Jessica Ly" (2:11:39 AM): WAIT YOU LIKE MEN?
"Athena Anduiza" (2:11:43 AM): HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"Gerard Boltron" (2:11:45 AM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
"Athena Anduiza" (2:11:48 AM): hhahaha
"Jessica Ly" (2:11:52 AM): AHAHHAHHAA
"Gerard Boltron" (2:11:57 AM): WOW
"Athena Anduiza" (2:12:00 AM): NIICE
"Athena Anduiza" (2:12:02 AM): HHAHAHA
"Gerard Boltron" (2:12:07 AM): THAT WAS QUITE GOOD
"Athena Anduiza" (2:12:09 AM): i agree
"Athena Anduiza" (2:12:10 AM): hahaha
"Jessica Ly" (2:12:14 AM): AHH THANK YOU

this made me miss summer sooo much.


for hours (or so it seemed) she tossed and turned trying to get herself to sleep. usually, the nights are when she gets her best thinking done. but this time, she didn't want to think. she really just wanted to sleep. but her mind refused to relax. forcing it to shut down didn't do any good. it always won. she laid there and stared at the inside of her eyelids for the longest time. realizing she wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon, she gave up.

she opened her eyes and stared into the dark abyss that was her room. her eyes weren't used to the darkness yet so she couldn't make out anything. slowly, her eyes began to adjust. she looked around the room. to the right, her sister sleeping soundly. she was very jealous of this. she moved and felt something near her side. she looked down and found her dog next to her, also sleeping soundly. this totally isn't fair, she thought to herself.

so she looked to her left, away from her envy. at first, everything was just black. then as the seconds passed, one by one, faces began to appear. they were all smiling down on her, either framed in black or stuck on a cork board. she took a deep breath and let it out. and with this breath her mind seemed to, as strange as it sounds, give a slight yawn.

after surveying the pictures for a little while longer, she rolled over on her stomach and tried once again to sleep. this time it worked.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

too bad.

my horoscope for today: avoid the mall, even if you’ve got your eye on that perfect outfit that you’ve been waiting to get, because the planets aren’t looking too helpful in terms of style or confidence. you’ll find that you’re in a pickier mood than usual and that perfect outfit won’t seem so perfect today!

too bad gaby and i plan on going to the mall this afternoon. take that, astrology!

footprints in the sand.

Friday, March 28, 2008

i, too.

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"

They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

(Langston Hughes - 1925)

things worth knowing.

i would much rather have someone call my writing pretty than call me pretty. i think it's a much better judge of character. i would much rather put on a smile than put on makeup. i think it's a much better way to look beautiful. i would much rather receive a dozen daisies than a dozen roses. i think it's a much more sentimental gesture. i would much rather listen to the lyrics of a song than the actual beat. i think it's a much better way to connect to a person. i would much rather walk somewhere far than drive there. i think it's a much better adventure. and i would much rather look at the world through a camera lens than through a television screen. i think it's a much better portrayal of how the world really is. or at least my world.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

the power.

today i noticed something very important. life-changing, if you will. something i knew i had in me, but never really fully controlled. and if i did, i was doing it without knowing. basically, i noticed that i have this uncanny ability to make myself happy whenever i want to. and it's not just some fake happy where i plaster on a smile and throw out a phony laugh to make it seem like i'm happy. if i want to be happy....i will be. simple as that.

for some people, they just can't seem to climb out of their depressed state of mind and would rather sulk in their misery than do anything else (which i can understand when it doesn't happen too often, but come on. every other day of your life? get over it, dudes). so i grant the world permission to be sad only on the third monday of every month, and only on that monday. why? i don't know. but i'm really tired right now and i can't think straight.

anyway, i should really exercise this power of mine to it's fullest extent. up until happiness beams come shooting out of my ears and into other peoples' brains. alright, that might be going a little too far.

i smell like bonfire :) goodnight.

Monday, March 24, 2008

i wish i may, i wish i might.

"Athena Anduiza" (11:11:11 PM): wissh!
"Athena Anduiza" (11:11:14 PM): WHOAAA
"Athena Anduiza" (11:11:15 PM): cooool
"Shane Rayos Del Sol" (11:11:22 PM): HAHAHAHAH
"Shane Rayos Del Sol" (11:11:24 PM): YAY!!
"Athena Anduiza" (11:11:28 PM): DUUUDE
"Shane Rayos Del Sol" (11:11:29 PM): that totally goes into MY profile!!

it always makes me ridiculously happy when i do that. and it's only happened to me about three times. but still. for some reason i think it helps in making my wish come true. *sigh* a girl can dream...err...wish.

Sunday, March 23, 2008


"without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's."

Saturday, March 22, 2008


for some reason, while i was watching videos on youtube on my bed, i decided to lay down on my side. so obviously, i wouldn't have been able to see the videos properly, so i laid my laptop on it's side too. i am now typing on my laptop sideways. and my arm is getting very tired. i find this very interesting. just thought you should know.

a journey.

she watches as the days go by. one opportunity, two opportunity, three opportunity, four. now what? oh, look. a sign of hope. a smile, a pat on the back, a high-five for a job well done. but the feeling fades. she doesn't need a hand to give her a high five. she needs a hand to hold. what to do, what to do...

oh, look. a glimpse of the future. wait, it's blurry. what's that over there? it's a person...but she can't see the face. she knows who it is, but at the same time she doesn't. what's that? a big building. still blurry. people rush past her, bumping her out of the way. what is she doing here? this isn't familiar. it scares her. she sees a silhouette of seven people in the distance. they walk towards her. they're laughing; happy. who are they? can she join them? two of them look familiar. but who are the other five?

she's lost sight of her surrounding environment and trips on a pebble and scrapes her knee. a band-aid would be nice. maybe a hand to help her up. it's kind of pathetic. how did she trip over a pebble? it's the small problems that get her. they start out as pebbles, barely noticeable. then, as she continues to ignore them, they grow bigger, bigger. from pebble to rock, and from rock to bigger rock. then finally, a boulder. unable to be ignored any longer.

caught between a rock and a hard place. where to now?

five opportunity, six. nowhere to go but up. time to climb. higher, higher. the altitude makes her dizzy, but she can't stop. music reaches her ears. from where, she doesn't know. she listens. "in Him alone my hope is found. He is my light, my strength, my song. This Cornerstone, this solid ground..." she feels stronger now and pushes herself harder. finally, she reaches the top.

but where did the music come from? she looks around. she is alone. nowhere for the music to be coming from.

except from within her.

golden train.

"don’t you wake up yet. give me some time to watch you asleep, oh angel of mine. and i would be fine as long as you’re near me, oh angel of mine. but tomorrow if a golden train came to take you away, would you go or would you stay?"

Thursday, March 20, 2008

our favorite neighbor.

"it's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
a beautiful day for a neighbor.
would you be mine?
could you be mine?"

in loving memory of a man who reminded us every day that kindness should never be a lost art. and that cardigans never go out of style. happy 80th birthday, mister rogers.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


we're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. but great moments often catch us unaware -- beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

big congrats!

this crazy man right here, our very own andrew park, just conquered usc admissions. i'm super proud of him. i can't believe it. yet again, i can. i mean come on, it's andrew. haha. anyway, just wanted to congratulate him again. big accomplishment, my friend. you're a university man now!

looking for christian.

it is very possible that christine and i may be the only two people who actually have any fun in marketing.

(p.s. we never found it. haha.)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


nhiitki’maoen hmoeebfnur gmontg uedosiy ilogregohtkewgf. iuwhildto esiloyucl. tuftm albto ocrabautu leknbo. uelea shyuirwtseyufndedye rlmtiaiientd iaoflmgsmoo soowaesfdrlmi. nemsth toaooestt oigilm eimyredachkssuyi. woksownf iweh’ehbvorl ltree gefroet, yytmcic oun eyltaan osealienygo ebueov ansftsnhtuli nbsy. aoolyeue tuctwaxioms lrfwy tyfojyehnb esalas atted. tahytki tiuauerldtw tofnon nnof’sspisebol. euooy vafuae woludaiyo yrhhehfleo. emyaib’la tjodoumbn khisgcyu. eiil meil aekf. yweoc luooelue dygtbbrnkn lyriaou. miybea’t yerligoe aromnobtu tnm. oww, tayttre laowirth leuitthr. lstofuh celjiios slyaoduiwhult til. bou dnti’mf nuiaetyoil etsrt wootmlyuot. wdilt nou’it rebfa. estoti dandyuay hhrreo eotbw. iacn’t htoh waiayrtiu oerdtt tnngga hueothuo oyitis ioagn ndgibl. tathiie. evthta reunie ouoy cldub.

real paragraph of thoughts scrambled by confusion, for confusion. keeps things interesting, you know?


3/20 - precalc test.
3/21 - multi-genre draft due/apush dbq.
3/21 - horton hears a who?
3/22 - jameson's house!
3/24 - 3/28 - spring break!
3/24 - picnic day.
3/25 - athena/christina day?
3/27 - prom decorations day.
3/28 - video making.
3/28 - bonfire!
4/01 - april fool's day.
4/01 - chamber of commerce breakfast.
4/17 - christina's birthday!
4/?? - pirate show.

wooo. i love stuff.

Monday, March 17, 2008

song of the moment.

pet peeves.

1. when my sock starts slipping off of my foot and i can't fix it without having to take my shoe off.
2. chewing gum that's lost it's flavor, but no where to spit it out.
3. people that talk like valley girls. (except for christine. ;))
4. hard-to-open packaging.
5. videos that lag.
6. ppl dat tYpe lyk3 dis.
7. people that stand over my shoulder and watch me work.
8. the pronunciation of picture as "pitcher."
9. people that don't shut the microwave after they use it.
10. my ipod running out of batteries in the middle of a really good song.

sadly, i experienced all of these today. haha. oh well. still a good day. weeee!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

studies show.

okay, most random thing ever...

so i was doing my homework in my room, apush to be exact, and i was working pretty well, but i had to go to the bathroom. i didn't wanna break my rhythm so i told myself that i wouldn't go until i finished my last statement. so i finished up the paragraph i was writing and walked to the bathroom. i was all the way in the bathroom and was practically an inch from shutting the door when i hear my dad go, "nina!" so i swung the door back open. then he goes, "make sure to get enough sleep." and in my head i'm like..."what?!??" and at the same time thinking "i have to use the bathroom, i have to use the bathroom, i have to use the bathroom......"

he continues on, "there are studies at berkeley that show lack of sleep can cause problems later on like diabetes." interesting. but, uh, i have to use the bathroom. so i laugh and close the door and right after i close the door he goes, "no, but really!" like i didn't believe him. haha. i just had to use the bathroom!

it's a good thing i go to sleep at 10:00 these days. woo, no diabetes for me. although, that bucket of sour punches might be a problem.


you know you had a good weekend when you have a blister on your foot from the adventure...and you're happy about it.

Friday, March 14, 2008

oh, cluster boys.

this made my day. what a perfect way to start off my weekend. :)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

on a scale of 1-10.

“are you okay?” he said after giving me a hug. i nodded. it wasn’t a lie. it was…..a reflex. but i didn’t correct myself. correcting myself would have involved explaining. and had i explained, i would’ve been late for class.

20 minutes until school is over. and as i sit here in cluster with the day almost done, i guess i’m “okay” now. but just okay. nothing more, nothing less. people asked me what was wrong during the day, but i couldn’t tell them. one reason being because i don’t really think people want to hear about my problems, no matter how concerned they may seem. and two, i really just don’t know the answer.

this mindset that i have about people not wanting to hear my complaining and ranting about life just makes me keep everything to myself. i’d rather listen to other people talk than me anyway. besides, being a burden is never fun. but sometimes it's hard trying to be the one who always makes other people happy. i’m allowed to be sad sometimes, too.


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

one thing.

"restless tonight cause i wasted the light. between both these times i drew a really thin line. it’s nothing i planned and not that i can, but you should be mine across that line.

if i traded it all, if i gave it all away for one thing, just for one thing. if i sorted it out, if i knew all about this one thing, wouldn’t that be something?

i promise i might not walk on by. maybe next time, but not this time. even though i know, i don’t want to know. yeah i guess i know. i just hate how it sounds..."

no words.

just thoughts in photos.

Monday, March 10, 2008

message in a bottle.

to whomever this message reaches...

i am now in my own world. a world north of reality. sometimes even south. i realize i have been here my entire life. it has just taken me a while to get the obstacles out of the way so that i could clearly tell where i stand, where i am, who i am. and what have i discovered here?

i am an island of myself surrounded by oceans of love. surrounded by people that will carry me when i can't seem to carry the weight of this world anymore. surrounded by the passion and the drive to wake up every morning and live a life with no regrets. there is no looking back on this island. as much as i want to, the currents will simply push me forward.

but in this world, there are still days that are dry. days that i can't stand the heat, nights that i can't stand the cold. where do i go then? the oceans are quiet and i am alone. i pray and the wind comes, awakening the waters. they shower me with hope and i am no longer lonely. sometimes i forget i am never alone.

although i have my share of hardships, this message will contain no S.O.S. i am no vessel in need of saving. i have what i need.

signed, yours truly.

may i reiterate...

...that i completely love that it's still semi-bright at 7:00 at night. it makes me happy.


without failure, every physics period gaby and i end up mentioning food to each other which results in us getting ridiculously hungry. one reason being because it's the period right before lunch and the other being that gaby and i just tend to eat a lot when we're around each other. i mean seriously, we leave jawor just to get food from stevens' down the hall during class (sadly, we're running low on food in the storage room).

anyway, today gaby mentioned that she wanted ice cream so that's what we ended up craving this time. we have something different every period. haha. so as bored as i was, with the help of the equally bored gaby and justin, i made a list of all of the foods i was craving or have been craving for a while. they were as follows:

pancakes. fries. gaby's snickerdoodles. chinese. mangoes. chocolate. ice cream. spaghetti. fish tacos. hot cheetos. starbucks. salad. nachos.

i then proceeded to write a huge "Done!" at the bottom because this list wasn't helping my appetite. wooo, fatties.

so long, friend.

so yesterday, after i had finished all of my homework, i had this strange urge to organize my stuff. why? who knows. but i did. so i grabbed my binder off of the floor next to my bed and took a good look at it. i've had this binder since the beginning of the school year so it's been through a good 7 months of being thrashed around in my backpack and thrown onto the floor. i was surprised it hadn't fallen to pieces yet. although, it was very close. the edges of the binder were starting to come apart and papers were hanging out all willy-nilly. this thing was seriously stuffed to capacity (and then some). so seeing as it would be impossible for it to survive another 3 months of my torture, i did the only thing i could do. i switched binders.

i had gotten very accustomed to carrying this binder around and was kinda bummed that i had to resort to a plain white binder. it just wasn't the same. a thousand knick-knacks had accumulated in the front of my binder over the months and i realized i keep a lot of random/unnecessary things: a strip of paper with the date/time slot for my accounting presentation (a million months ago), a red five gum wrapper from jameson, another five gum wrapper from gaby (this one green), kathleen's birthday invitation from november (no idea how this even got on my binder), foil from a hershey's chocolate, a note from christine about letting me borrow her flash drive because i was having a bad day, and of course winter formal and sadies pictures that i got from people (which aren't unnecessary; there's just a lot. haha).

i may be loony, but i'm not a fan of the binder i'm using now. meh.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

saving daylight.

as i was sitting in my room doing homework, i heard something and looked outside my window. it was my neighbor's little kid riding his toy bike up and down the driveway. i watched him cruise by for a couple seconds then looked up at the sky. it was pretty. nice and bright with the sun all shining and stuff. i kind of spaced out for a little bit, complaining in my head about how today was the perfect beach day, but i was trapped inside to do school work. after staring at the sky for like five minutes i zoned back to reality. i turned back to my laptop and looked at the was 5:30. 5:30? 5:30?! since i like to talk to inanimate objects, i stared at the clock and said to it, "are you serious?" oh, it was serious.

obviously, i had forgotten today was daylight savings. it kinda bummed me out cause i lose an hour of sleep tonight, but oh well. we get more light! if i were my neighbor's kid, i'd be happy because i get more time to play outside before the porch light comes on. but being the cool, mature seventeen year old that i am....whatever, i get more time to play, too! :)

the unreachable apple.

"girls are like apples; the best ones are at the top of the trees. the boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. so the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. they just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.”

Saturday, March 08, 2008

freak out.

so i was sitting at my laptop just minding my own business reading blogs and whatnot when out of laptop decides to shut down. i sit there for a few seconds trying to figure out what just happened. i thought it was just a power outage at my house or something because my laptop has never died on me before. it's been a perfectly good laptop ever since i got it two Christmas's ago. it's never gone haywire or anything.

so i tried turning it on and it started up for, like, a second then shut down again. so i tried again and it did the same thing. i wanted to cry. so i waited a couple minutes before trying again and this time it turned on. sadly, that's all it did. i tried opening firefox, but no dice. it was being super retarded. so i just shut it off and walked away, defeated.

i came back to try again thirty minutes later and...success! i don't know what i would have done if it didn't turn on. this thing has everything on it. i would fail out of life if it died.

simple as that.

all your life you are told the things you cannot do. all your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough. they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. they will tell you no, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. all your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.

and you will tell them yes.

Friday, March 07, 2008

the girl is mine.

hahaha, my dad showed me this. genius, it is! and stephen colbert can actually sing...who knew? haha. (btw, if you don't get it, they're fighting over who is more american. the girl = the statue of liberty. haha. and the song is an old michael jackson/paul mccartney song.)

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


not entirely sure what tara was doing...haha.

just for today.

"just for today, i will not worry what tomorrow will bring. i’m gonna try something new; gonna walk through this day like i’ve got nothing to prove. although i've got the best intentions, can't predict anyone's reaction. so i’ll just do my best. i'll put one foot in front of the other, keep on moving forward, have faith in the rest.

i don’t know what’s gonna happen. that’s alright with me. i open up my arms and i embrace the mystery. i don’t know what’s gonna happen. that’s alright with me. i open up my arms and i embrace the mystery.

just for today, i’m telling the truth like its going out of style. gonna swallow my pride. gonna be who am i and i don’t care who don’t like it. i feel, feel that i’ll do it anyway. won't let it stand in the way. i know what i must do, there’s no guarantee that it’ll be easy, but i know that it’ll beat the feeling. it is time for me to show improve. its okay not to know; exploration is how we grow. its okay to not have the answer cause sometimes its the question that matters..."

Monday, March 03, 2008

happy birthday, raghav!

i hope it was the greatest! you deserve a super birthday, my friend.


it's bad enough when i jam one of my fingers, but three? at the same time?! holy mackerel. that was definitely not fun.