Wednesday, November 08, 2006
and as the school day has come and gone leaving first quarter done and completed, i sit here realizing my expectations for myself have lessened immensely. what happened to the athena that always did extra credit when she had the opportunity? what happened to the athena that always did her homework? what happened to the athena that didn't wait until the last minute to do something so that she could actually put a great deal of effort into working on it? i wish i could find her again. because who i am right now, i honestly can't say i'm proud of. my average bed time has changed from 10:30 to two o'clock in the morning. sleeping at eleven seems like a luxury to me now. i don't expect myself to finish early anymore because i don't think that i can. therefore, i don't even try. lame, no? i remember the days when i used to freak out when i got a B on something. but now, a B is like.. whatever to me. but not only am i not meeting my own expectations, but i feel as if i'm not reaching the expectations other people have of me. i know it shouldn't matter cause i have to do what i know is right for me and i know that. but i can't stand letting other people down. and the last thing i want someone to do is lower their expectations of me. i have to try harder. more for myself than anything else. because, quite frankly, i'm highly disappointed.