Saturday, December 30, 2006
"when you feel all alone and a loyal friend is hard to find, you're caught in a one-way street with the monsters in your head, when hopes and dreams are far away and you feel like you can't face the day, let me be the one you call. if you jump i'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away into the night. if you need to fall apart, i can mend a broken heart. if you need to crash, then crash and burn. you're not alone."
sometimes, it's like she's stuck on a one-way street. turning back won't do her any good and moving forward guarantees her nothing but a path to the unknown. she worries herself night and day about every little decision she makes and yet she still progresses. why doesn't she just make a path of her own? she admits she was never a born leader. despite the fact that people have told her time and time again that she could pull it off if she just tried. they say she could make it. and make it BIG. but the doubt that fogs her mind erases all those words of encouragement. she needs someone to show her how. how to be an inspiration to someone else. how to control herself. how to make this world a better place. but first and foremost, how to figure out what to do with her life.
this is a first. she's never admitted it until now, but she's afraid of her life after highschool. where is she going? this one-way street isn't giving her many options. at the moment, she doesn't feel as if her mind is opening up to opportunities, and she's afraid it will never learn to. if she doesn't straighten up now, when will she? does she realize she'll be left behind? she's terrified that all her friends will be moving forward while she's stuck in the same place; on a one-way street to a place she doesn't want to be. she wishes she could make a U-turn somewhere and start all over, but she sees nowhere to turn. so, where does she turn? who does she turn to? and how will she make this aforesaid turn? and if it so happens that she figures out how to turn this life of hers around, will she not get dizzy and forget once more what she wants? will going back even do her any good? sometimes, as she walks on this one-way street, she waits and waits until she reaches a dead end sign. for some reason, it's as if she knows it'll appear sooner or later. it has yet to appear, so she hopes she can figure out what to do. what to do with whatever it is she needs to fix. and she always thinks something in her life needs fixing. maybe all she needs is someone to walk with.